VAN NUYS, CA — The editorial board at the Van Nuys News Press has officially made up their decision on who shall be crowned the “Camper Of The Year.” In the first annual contest of the Van Nuys New Press “Camper Of The Year,” the editorial board has voted on one person.
“The process was lengthy, and many factors needed to be considered. Throughout the year, our newspaper staff has gone on numerous press trips and fact finding missions. From Cousin Jonathan ziplining over canyons and waterfalls, to Brother Charles parasailing hundreds of feet in the air over Kona, to Mother Sandra reviewing whale watches from Monterey to San Diego, the competition was stiff,” said Newspaper Publisher George Christopher Thomas.
“But the honor and privilege goes to one man this year. His dedication was head and shoulders above the rest of the contestants. He never complained, never shrunk from duty, was there ready to go come hell or high water, and loved every minute of it. If we had a 6am tee time, he was up at 5am cleaning his golf clubs. If someone had to carry a 30 pack of Rolling Rock up a volcano, he put his head down and brought the box of rocks to those that needed to consume them. If he was supposed to be at the top of the world to watch a meteoroid shower, he put his coat on, kept calm and carried on…” said Thomas.
“Now this is not to say the other contestants did not excel in their press duties. Brother Charles deserves an honorable mention; he too got up very early to review golf courses. Cousin Jonathan deserves a high five; he was scuba diving on the Big Island and was meeting newspaper staff all over Arizona for restaurant reviews. And Mother Sandra definitely gave the winner a run for his money. Mother Sandra reviewed more boat trips in Hawaii then Carter has liver pills. Mother Sandra was 4x4ing in the desert in the pouring rain, and Mother Sandra was there whale watching, taking pictures and doing everything the newspaper staff asked her to do. Plus, formally trained as a debutante, Mother Sandra knows to send thank you notes and is the one to consult for proper etiquette,” said George Christopher Thomas.
“But the winner of the 2013 Van Nuys News Press Camp George “Camper Of The Year” and the recipient of the King Kamehameha statue is Father Arthur “Jeffery B” Thomas. Arthur is a man amongst men, a stand up philosopher, and an all around good guy. I wish all the contestants a happy, health and prosperous new year. Let the 2014 games begin. Mother Sandra is looking to strip the title from Father Arthur next year, and has clearly and unequivocally stated that golf does not count in 2014. Play well.”