How to Stop the Secret Santa!
By George Christopher Thomas
Do you have to holiday shop for someone you donâ€™t like? Are there co-workers in your office organizing a â€śSecret Santa,â€ť just to be annoying? Are you forced into being nice to people you would rather tell off and would not pee on if they were on fire?
Then I have the perfect gift for that special someone in your life, get them a pet. That is right, there is no way anyone would expect that one coming, a hamster or a bird, maybe a cat or a large dog. This is one of the greatest tricks ever, dropping a pet on someone.
Try to find a bird that chirps a lot, or the most active hamster at the pet store. If you can connect it to some kind of special charity that adopts wild ferrets, even better. This insures that great soul you are so fortunate to work with has to keep the goat and matching chicken from the â€śRescued Farm Animals of the Pacific Northwest,â€ť or the ferret from â€śRepublicans for Ferrets.â€ť
As a finale, have a name picked out already, maybe Clarence or Leroy, possibly Fredrick the Cat. Now letâ€™s see if there is the â€śSecret Santaâ€ť lottery draw next year at the office. Seasons Greetings Colleagues!
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